Do Not
by bonnieandthebat
Summary: Upon being asked, Amethyst could reduce life to a simple and short 'do not' list. Do not pass up opportunities to eat. Do not crack your gem. Do not piss off Garnet. Do not fall in love. Arguably, that last one was probably the most important to remember.


Upon being asked, Amethyst could reduce life to a simple and short 'do not' list.

Do not pass up opportunities to eat.

Do not crack your gem.

Do not piss off Garnet.

Do not fall in love.

Arguably, that last one was probably the most important to remember.

Amethyst has been alive for a long time. She may not drip knowledge like Pearl or ooze wisdom like Garnet but the tiny purple gem had seen some things. She was confidant that she knew about life and the way it should be lived.

When she was alive, Rose and Amethyst used to spend special days together. Amethyst especially had enjoyed when the boom of technology had taken place. It introduced a whole new level to humans and life that she didn't understand before. When they were invented, Rose and Amethyst watched VHS tapes about humans. Such happy, frivolous creatures, Rose had described them and Amethyst agreed. Each tape they watched documented their lives and relationships that were incredibly happy, short, and full of love. All the humans were in love, it seemed.

Amethyst knew a little bit about love. Rose had tried to explain it to her using food as an example.

"You know how you feel about food, Amethyst?" She had nodded, clinging to every word that her motherly figure offered. "It's kind of like that. You love food. It makes you feel good."

When Pearl heard there was knowledge to be spread she had took it upon herself to teach Amethyst about love as well. She took Amethyst places and toted her around. The young and curious Amethyst followed like an eager puppy.

Each place they visited Pearl loved. She had different reason for loving them, too. It had to deal with the places color or shape and history that was involved. When they had warped to the communication hub they stayed there for hours. Pearl pointed out things that made her love that particular place. She told her the stories of the threats they used to receive from it back in the war times. She told Amethyst how she would love to reactivate it, just for a moment, and see how homeworld was doing. To Pearl, it seemed that love meant reasoning and complexity. Amethyst kept that in mind.

Later they warped to a place that Amethyst had never been to before. Purple heaps of symmetrically placed shapes littered the landscape along with overgrown vines laced with white flowers. The sky was tinged purple in blue with odd clouds that hovered just above the ground. She leaned that it was called fog. Pink liquid guzzled into deep holes in the ground and spouted back out again before becoming one with the air in the form of mist; Geysers with a magical twist. Pearl brought a picnic basket of all Amethyst's favorite foods and while she ate Pearl twisted flowers into her hair. They talked about everything and anything prying into one another's pasts until Amethyst had asked why Pearl liked this purple mess of a place so much. Sure, Amethyst loved it (it would eventually become the model for her room in the temple) but it seemed very un-Pearl like. Not deserving of Pearl's love.

"I love this place because it reminds me of you, Amethyst."

The concept of love spilled into her life again, dipping into the previously grey part of her mind and filled it with colorful enlightenment. It was possible to love food and places and things because they reminded you of someone else.

That day she spent with Pearl is probably still her favorite.

Garnet was love in a living, physical form that Amethyst thought didn't exist. She could touch Garnet and feel Garnet and see Garnet.

Garnet had explained to Amethyst the complexities of fusion. With Amethyst in her lap they overlooked the ocean and suddenly, Garnet had unfused.

Ruby and Sapphire. Sapphire and Ruby. They were smaller than Amethyst and nothing at all like Garnet. For a split second Amethyst almost considered them weak before she remembered the impossibly strong gem they made together.

When Garnet reformed Amethyst laced her hands through Garnet's wanting to feel the cool gems against her skin. "It's the rawest form of love there is."

That's probably why when Amethyst and Pearl first formed Opal all she could think about was Ruby and Sapphire.

Being Opal felt, for lack of a better word, _good_. Way different than anything Amethyst had expected. When they melded together her insecurities melted and were replaced with absolute self love. Like a hug that made her so impossibly happy she never wanted it to stop.

But it did. All good things come to an end, she supposed.

"That was-" Amethyst was cut off by an overly excited Pearl who threw her arms around her.

"I know."

After Amethyst had mastered fusion people stopped teaching her things. The topic of love that had once been so pressing to young gem faded into her everyday life as she aged but it never went away. It still clung to her in all the purest forms it had to offer. Through Rose and Garnet. But especially Pearl.

When Rose started seeing Greg Amethyst wasn't surprised. Rose had often lusted after human men but quickly lost interest as they aged and died. Unfortunately Greg was different. She felt it the moment she met him. Rose loved Greg.

Just like that Amethyst was thrust back into the topic she left behind many years ago. The introduction of Greg also made her realize that she had never considered romantic love for herself.

Vidalia bumbled into her life as unexpectedly as Greg did. She was coy and unabashedly flirty and carrying another human around in her stomach. Initially, that freaked Amethyst out but the more she thought about it the more badass it became. Her friend, Vidalia, the human incubator.

Unsurprisingly Vidalia was Amethyst's first kiss. They had been lying on the beach, toes digging into the heated sand. Amethyst was explaining something about relationships to Vidalia when she noticed her friend had zoned out.

"Uh, Vid, you okay?"

Vidalia had mumbled something, licked her lips then met Amethyst's gaze. An odd feeling bubbled in Amethyst's core at the sultry look.

"You wanna make out?"

Just like that, vulgar and true to her nature, Vidalia suggested kissing. And just like Amethyst, true to her own nature, had accepted, eager to learn.

When their lips connected Amethyst felt dizzy. Vidalia did _naughty_ things with her tongue that made Amethyst squeak and moan and grip onto her friend harder. It was hot and lustful and incredibly messy but Amethyst loved every second of it. Each time Vidalia broke away Amethyst would whine in annoyance.

"I need air, ya big rock," Vidalia puffed breathlessly. Her pants tickled the side of Amethyst's neck. "Not all of us can go without oxygen."

When it was all said and done Vidalia had shed her clothing and Amethyst had made her come undone an astounding seven times before she begged for mercy. The two agreed that it meant nothing but Amethyst was left to wonder, did she love Vidalia?

No, she finally decided. Vidalia was her best friend and she loved her in every other way except romantically. The experience did help her learn that she didn't love the intimacy of human sex. She didn't mind it, actually with Vidalia it was pretty fun, but it wasn't her favorite thing in the world. And certainly not worth the hassle of shapeshifting reproductive parts.

When Rose died and they were left with Steven, Amethyst felt like all the love had been sucked out of her. She stopped visiting Vidalia who had her own child by now. She stopped eating, much preferring the emptiness inside of her. And Pearl seemed to hate her now. Everything felt wrong and loveless.

It stayed like that for a while. They defended the earth but they did it like soldiers, not as the complex gems that they were.

"You're a fool."

The voice was Pearl's. It was always Pearl. Every ounce of gentleness she once had for Amethyst vanished along with Rose. Amethyst wept about it at night. Pearl used to love her. Garnet used to talk to them. Rose used to be alive.

"Why?"

"She didn't love you like she loved me. She didn't love anyone that way."

Amethyst didn't understand why Pearl felt the need to bring it up as often as she did. Rose was dead and no amount of talking about it would make her feel any better.

"I know, Pearl, but can I ask you a question?"

Pearl faltered. "Fine."

"Why do you hate me now? You used to love me."

Pearl screamed at Amethyst as she made her way toward the temple entrance. None of what she said answered her question. It all just stung and made the self hatred that bubbled inside her swelter. Garnet and Pearl already hated her. What was one more?

Pearl left her alone in the half constructed house that Steven would soon occupy. She pulled her knees to her chest and let tears fall, unable to make them stop. The word love bounced around in her head and she decided that she had a new list on how to live life.

Do not fall in love.

Do not fall in love.

Do not fall in love.

Do not fall in love.


End file.
